Here’s a story for you all:

One day there was a girl, a long long time ago in a place (I can’t remember where) and this girl had an accident. No, not like that, people. Not the kind of accident where she couldn’t get to the bathroom in time, the kind of accident where she got hurt. Really hurt. And so, this girl, or woman, or whatever, is lying in bed in a coma, but this a long time ago, so they didn’t know about coma’s, so everyone just thought she was dead. DEAD. So guess what? They buried her, had a funeral and everything, buried her in a nice coffin.

Along comes Mister Grave Robber. And he decides to rob Miss Not-Quite-Dead’s grave. So he digs up the grave and opens the coffin and takes all her jewellry. But then he sees the ring. It’s a really nice ring, he thinks, and goes to take it off. But it doesn’t come off. It looks expensive, he thought. I just have to take it, he tells himself. So he pulls out a pocket knife and starts cutting off the finger that the ring is on. But she wakes up because of the pain. He has a heart attack and dies.

Nice, huh?

Give ’em hell, kids! x


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